Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Just an Extra

A few nights ago was the adult session of stake conference. As much as I hate to admit it, I did not want to go. I had my reasons all logically organized in my head and felt good about my decision to stay home. One of them being this was not a "required" meeting this was just an extra. When the time came for me to either get dressed up and go, or stay in my sweats and enjoy cookie dough and a movie, I felt guilt. And that guilt is what drove me to the stake center (actually it was Ben but sometimes I call him guilt!)
I hated feeling like I was forcing myself to do something good. Shouldn't we WANT to do good things and seek after them? I felt this way the whole meeting, I would rather be somewhere else, doing anything else. I kept thinking surly I need to be here to hear something that will change my life. But, their was nothing said that was life changing to me.
Going home, frustrated that I was a rotten person for going to a church meeting and not wanting to feel the spirit, made me disappointed in myself.
As I reflected on the meeting, making mental notes of who was there and who was not, I once again thought, its not fair that I go to EVERY meeting and others don't. I want to be a person who doesn't go to meetings and doesn't feel guilt.
Undeserving of any revelation at this point in my pity party, it came to me that Yes this IS an extra thing....but don't you need the Extra blessings? I then was told some of the Extra blessings I and others, have and would receive from going to these seemingly routine meetings.
This is one of those promptings I treasure because these feelings will come again, and their will always be meetings that are hard to attend, but he gave me this prompting to REMEMBER.

6 comments:

HandsomeRob said...

What?! I don't get it...you left your kids at home on a weekend to go on a date with your hubby, I can't wait to do that! I can't even remember the last time I went to an adult session of Stk Conference, I'm always so jealous of people that can do that.
I do think that you should be at conference if you can be there but here's what you should do...
Get a big group together of your favorite couples and go out to dinner and to Conference together and then out to dessert afterward. It will be a big party and something you look forward to whenever Stk Conference comes around.
April

mlg said...

What are you talking about you received some great revelation from the person behind you, that was worth the whole trip..or maybe not!

Stefani said...

This is a great post! I feel this way about 90% of the time when it comes to extra meetings. I have thought that about why am I the person who goes to EVERY meeting and feels guilty if I don't, when there's lots of people that don't go and don't feel guilty. Sometimes I go, and my world gets rocked, and I'm so glad I went. But often it's just OK. I always tell my kids that the more you don't want to go the more you need to be there. I guess I should live that advice.

I also like what you said about extra meetings and extra blessings. Wow! Good thought.

HandsomeRob said get a group of couples together and go out for dinner and then to conference. We do this and it does help. Try it. But I don't know what to tell you when you have a dull Stake Leadership meeting to go to in the middle of the week 40 minutes away. Uggh, I'm still working on that one.

Thanks for being a good girl and being a good example to me. :D

sarahandmatt said...

When my Dad was a mission president he used to always tell his missionaries that the "miracles lie in the extra mile". I've been thinking a lot about that lately. How can we go the extra mile? Sounds like you're on the right track!

Michelle Hayes said...

my word verification is "facks". I thought it was appropriate to write something here so i could type "facks". :) I like your post.

Cami said...

So the other month when my foot was broken and my baby was due any day, I didn't really want to go to church. In fact I was embarrassed to go. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me, or to be distracting to the meeting. But what was I going to do at home? Sit and sulk? I went to church and someone asked me why I was at church. I kind of felt dumb--no answer. Later she caught me to say sorry, and I defended myself. I said, "I think I came to church today so that my kids will know that even when things are hard, we still go to church." She said, "Of course they will." She was nice.

Good job going to conference and recognizing blessings in spite of a bad attitude.