A few nights ago was the adult session of stake conference. As much as I hate to admit it, I did not want to go. I had my reasons all logically organized in my head and felt good about my decision to stay home. One of them being this was not a "required" meeting this was just an extra. When the time came for me to either get dressed up and go, or stay in my sweats and enjoy cookie dough and a movie, I felt guilt. And that guilt is what drove me to the stake center (actually it was Ben but sometimes I call him guilt!)
I hated feeling like I was forcing myself to do something good. Shouldn't we WANT to do good things and seek after them? I felt this way the whole meeting, I would rather be somewhere else, doing anything else. I kept thinking surly I need to be here to hear something that will change my life. But, their was nothing said that was life changing to me.
Going home, frustrated that I was a rotten person for going to a church meeting and not wanting to feel the spirit, made me disappointed in myself.
As I reflected on the meeting, making mental notes of who was there and who was not, I once again thought, its not fair that I go to EVERY meeting and others don't. I want to be a person who doesn't go to meetings and doesn't feel guilt.
Undeserving of any revelation at this point in my pity party, it came to me that Yes this IS an extra thing....but don't you need the Extra blessings? I then was told some of the Extra blessings I and others, have and would receive from going to these seemingly routine meetings.
This is one of those promptings I treasure because these feelings will come again, and their will always be meetings that are hard to attend, but he gave me this prompting to REMEMBER.